Three Month Comparison

DEBT OWED TO:	JUNE 2012 BALANCE	JULY 2012 BALANCE	AUGUST 2012 BALANCE
DISCOVER CARD /HUSBAND	$1,374.89
BILL ME LATER	$2,734.48
CHASE/ CARDMEMBER SERVICE	$3,958.94
BANK OF AMERICA	$624.39
BANK OF AMERICA	$6,218.42
CITICARD	$4,247.57
BANK OF AMERICA	$2,526.99
CITI PLATINUM	$4,797.59
CAPITAL ONE	$2,860.18
CITICARD	$1,914.17
DISCOVER CARD	$499.29
CHASE	$128.26
TOTAL CREDIT CARD DEBT:	$31,885.17
INTERNAL REVENUE SERVICE (IRS)	$6,299.00
PARENTS (Personal Loan)	$11,220.00
ACS (Student Loan)	$7,340.86 (principal)
SALLIE MAE (Student Loans)	$18,170.70 (principal)
U.S. DEPT OF EDUC.  (Student Loans)	$92,953.79 (principal)
SALLIE MAE/ (Parent Loans)	$45,218.27 (principal)
TOTAL STUDENT LOAN DEBT:	$163,683.62
CITIMORTGAGE INC.	$397,365.79
GRAND TOTAL DEBT:	$610,453.58

Minimum Balances: How Much I Spend On Debt

After adding up the numbers I made a horrific discovery: I paid $702.82 in minimum balances in the month of June. True, June is not over yet but I have paid all of my credit card bills with my first paycheck. Imagine what I could do with $702.82 if I did not have all this debt? I could save! What a concept. How come we do not save our hard earned cash if not to just feel secure? When you have debt you lack security because you are not in control. You are vulnerable. 

Security on the other hand gives us confidence. You are not worried about if you lose your job because being financially stable will provide you with the support you are suddenly lacking. But no security equals no support. It has taken me several months to save almost that same amount ($706) in my savings. But if I didn't have all this debt, no problem. 

And we want so much material. We want things that depreciate in value. We want things that provide no substance in our lives. We think these things give us fulfillment. But they do not. They provide temporary "happiness" for lack of a better word. And the "happiness" is artificial. That's why we continue to want more. I liken it to when you eat food filled with artificial flavors and preservatives, foods that have no real nutritional value. When you eat foods like this you do not feel full immediately. You don't feel energized. You feel lethargic if you eat too much of it. You feel sick, like you want to vomit. It's the artificiality in all this that's killing us. 

So when we hoard our hoarding lands us into this mess of debt. And the debt is seeping any life out of our lives. We graduate from college with several thousands of dollars worth of debt. How do you begin a life in all this debt?? It's one thing if you are going into a field that will pay you back what you have spent on education and then some. But many of us are going into debt because of a liberal arts education that's not making us a practitioner of anything. How does the saying go, "Jack of all trades, master of none?" 

I've wracked up all of this debt and for what really? The clothes I purchased I don't even wear. The restaurants I've went to have only added to my waistline. The stuff in my house, do I need any of it really? Do I even take care of it necessarily? Do I take care of the things I've been blessed with? Or do I take these things for granted? 

I spend $702.82 a month in minimum balances. Were the things I went into debt for really worth it?

Money In My Pocket...Or the Lack Thereof

Debtors never have money in their pockets. Ask any debtor. Debtors are always in search of money. There is never enough. There is always more month than money. As a debtor, you are constantly robbing Peter to pay Paul. Then you are borrowing back what you paid to Paul to reimburse Peter out of guilt and so on and so forth. It's a vicious cycle. 

My husband and I do not own cars so we take public transportation. Sometimes because I am too cold, or I am carrying too much stuff or just out of my own laziness, I want to take a cab. The first thought that always comes to mind is, do I have the money? I always have to stop and think. Because when you never have money on a consistent basis you always have to determine whether or not you have any when the moment to cough up the funds arises. 

I miss having "walking around" money. I miss just having money for the sake of having money. My wallet is always empty. And when I have money, I am so used to not having it, I end up spending it so I can be, once again, cash poor. It's almost as if I feel more myself when my wallet is empty. Because on the rare occasion when it is full it itches my hands. I can't wait to get rid of it. 

I usually bring bottled water in from home to stock my refrigerator at work. (I recycle those bottles later.) Today was a rare day because I opened my refrigerator and there was no water in it. This is the first time I have had no water in months. I happened to have $2.40 in my wallet. I went to the soda machine to purchase one drink and one bottle of water. I was able to purchase the drink, but since all drinks were $1.50 I did not have enough funds. I ended up placing the remaining change in my desk drawer. I use to keep large amounts of spare change in my desk drawer but that was years ago. Now, I can barely muster up enough funds for a pink lemonade from the soda machine. Still, that moment of being able to save some money...even if it were only $0.90 cents meant something to me. Maybe I can build upon that. I'd also like to be able to keep some pocket change in my metro card/id wallet. You know, just some spare dollars that I could have on hand just in case. I want to work up to that. I use to keep at least $5.00 in my metro card/id wallet. But again, lately, I can't even keep a little bit of money. 

You are probably sitting at home thinking this is truly sad and pathetic that only having a little money would make me so happy. But ultimately, debtors are spenders. We are spendaholics, shopaholics, all that. And when you know how to spend, saving for a rainy day is never on the agenda. 

I do have a savings account. It doesn't have that much money in it. $706 dollars to be exact. But that $706 has been very slow to accumulate. The only reason I haven't withdrawn any money is because I insisted on the bank not providing me with a Debit/ATM card. The last time I had a savings I didn't have an ATM card but eventually was given one after the bank's persistence. And just as I thought, my "savings" flew out of the account which I eventually closed. Not having a card allows me to make deposits and only deposits. I choose to abstain from making cash withdrawals because I'm serious about this having money in my pocket thing...   

Quarterly Credit Update - May 25, 2012

There was a time, only three years ago in 2009, when my credit scores were in the low 800s. No more. That said, they have increased since the last time I checked. According to Bank of America's (BOA) Privacy Assist Quarterly Credit Update, as of May 25, 2012, my scores and credit ratings from the three credit bureaus are as follows: 

• Equifax:        Score - 694; Rating - Fair
• Experian:      Score - 681; Rating - Fair
• TransUnion:  Score - 706; Rating - Good

This is nothing to write home about but it's nice to see the scores on the upswing. As my debt decreases it will be fun watching these scores increase. Appreciating the little things in life goes a long way.

DEBT - JUNE 2012

Initial Debt - Beginning June 2012

DEBT OWED TO:	BALANCE	INTEREST	MONTHLY PAYMENT
DISCOVER CARD /HUSBAND	$1,374.89	0%	$40.00
BILL ME LATER	$2,734.48	19%	$84.00
CHASE/ CARDMEMBER SERVICE	$3,958.94	18.24%	$98.00
BANK OF AMERICA	$624.39	15.99%	$15.00
BANK OF AMERICA	$6,218.42	11.99%	$124.00
CITICARD	$4,247.57	11.99%	$86.82
BANK OF AMERICA	$2,526.99	11.24%	$54.00
CITI PLATINUM	$4,797.59	0%	$80.00
CAPITAL ONE	$2,860.18	0%	$28.00
CITICARD	$1,914.17	0%	$28.00
DISCOVER CARD	$499.29	0%	$40.00
CHASE	$128.26	12.24%	$25.00
TOTAL CREDIT CARD DEBT:	$31,885.17
INTERNAL REVENUE SERVICE (IRS)	$6,299.00	$688.55 (interest charges already included in balance)	$160.00
PARENTS (Personal Loan)	$11,220.00
ACS (Student Loan)	$7,340.86 (principal)	$11,789.10 (interest included)	In-School Deferment
SALLIE MAE (Student Loans)	$18,170.70 (principal)	$29,697.89 (interest included)	In-School Deferment
U.S. DEPT OF EDUC.  (Student Loans)	$92,953.79 (principal)	$94,515.14 (interest included)	In-School Deferment
SALLIE MAE/ (Parent Loans)	$45,218.27 (principal)	$96,189.65 (interest included)	Forbearance
TOTAL STUDENT LOAN DEBT:	$163,683.62
CITIMORTGAGE INC.	$397,365.79	4.87500% (30 year fixed)	$2,800.00
GRAND TOTAL DEBT:	$610,453.58

Bill Organization and other stuff...

I have finally found a useful notebook to organize my bills. It has a pocket for the bills and everything. There is a pocket for each month. There is also a six year calendar (very helpful). It even has a zip pocket for receipts. In fact, I have written down all the credit card debt that I currently owe including the card's interest rates. This will help me to determine which credit card I plan to pay off first. (Although I know this already...my husband's.) 

But back to the bill organizer...Where have you been all my life? Finally a place to organize my financial madness. The chaos can finally be tamed. What's more scary is that no employment is permanent unless you have tenure. If I lost my job tomorrow my financial situation is so dire I'd sink both myself and my husband. This is more than disturbing. I want better for my family. We deserve better. I want to be so financially fit that if something were to happen, like unemployment, we'd still be financially secure. I believe I can change this situation around as sad as it is. And I pray for discipline. Because this is what I have lacked all these years. I pray that I will stop acting on my emotions. I pray that I can finally start acting like an adult.

On a slightly brighter note my quarterly credit report for Bank of America came yesterday. My Fair Isaac Corporation score (FICO) is improving. I can't wait to watch that baby jump significantly by the next quarterly report as my revolving debt (a.k.a. credit card debt) decreases. Being that I'm not a fan of Bank of America I am going to take a moment to give them some kudos. I actually appreciate their Privacy Assist program. Their annual score report comes in a nice booklet, actually packaging all my debt quite nicely. And it keeps me aware of the numbers so I am not in the dark. I don't like being in the dark. This is why I am not one to leave bills unopened and stuffed in a drawer. I need to know, you know? If I'm in dire straits I need to know just exactly how dire? How much mucky stuff am I in for real? But again I'm tired of dwelling in quick sand. This mess has got to get cleaned up. 

But that notebook again? Good stuff. I certainly recommend it. Get it here. 

Numbers Don't Lie

To everyone out there in the blogosphere, trust, numbers don't lie. Since my posts in 2010 I have wracked up several more thousands of dollars of debt. My credit card debt is over $30,000 now. But I have finally stopped debting over the last few months. This time I plan to stop this madness for good. I know what you are probably saying, yeah, that's what you said the last time. But no friends, this time is different. I want to change my net worth. I have spent much time pondering what I should have pondered before: Why do I debt? Also, on February 10th, 2012 I gave my life to Christ as an adult. I had done this already as a child, many years before at age 6 or 7. But I truly turned my life over to Jesus on February 10th. I didn't make a big declaration in front of a church or anything. I just had a conversation with God about things that I was doing that were not good for me. And once that conversation was had, I knew I had to crawl my way back out of the hole that I had dug for myself. I am literally drowning in debt. I am suffering and suffocating. And I deserve better. My husband deserves better. At age 36 I want to do more with my life. But I cannot live life to the fullest when I am barely persisting in thousands and thousands of dollars worth of debt that I owe back to my parents, banks, the IRS, ACS, Sallie Mae and the U.S. Department of Education. So you will see a lot more of me over the next few months. And feel free to join me on this journey. I am sure there will be some ups and downs but that is life. I will do whatever I can to get to the end goal. I would also like to save as much money as possible. Also, I will give you the real numbers. I have been financially irresponsible for too long. It is time for real change.

And before signing off I would like to invite you to participate with me in a seven month debt pay off challenge. This challenge will begin on Friday, June 1st, 2012 and end on Tuesday, January 1, 2013. Come one and come all. I do not care who you are or what gender you are or what race you are or how old you are. If you have debt and want to get rid of that debt, then we have something in common. For the challenge I would like for you to identify the following in the comments section below: 

1. Which debt, in particular, would you like to pay off. 

For me, I would like to pay off what I call, Discover Card #1. My Discover Card has the amount of $1,414, 89. Actually, correction, this Discover Card is my husband's Discover Card. We will be married 3 years in June 2012. And I was never one to go shopping with my husband's credit cards. That is not the kind of wife I am (or at least wanted to be). I can wrack up my own debt. But my husband so graciously allowed me to use his card to pay for a course I wanted to take. My university, a big, well-known state school, did not take Visa, can you believe it? So my husband allowed me to use his Discover card. I was supposed to pay that debt right back. I did not. My husband has been awesome about it. He has not asked me, not one time, when I am planning to pay him back. Perhaps because he views his money (or credit) as my money as well. I have been making the minimum payments of $40 dollars each month. And I thank God I have a husband who has been as accepting of me and my financial woes as he has been. But this ridiculousness has got to stop. And so the first person I want to pay back is my husband. I would also like to pay off my Bank of America #3 card (Yes, this means there is a BOA #1 and #2 out there). The amount of $633 is on the card and I would like it gone. Afterwards, I want to pay off BOA #2 which has the amount of $2,500. I may not be able to pay off all 3 cards, but I want to come as close as possible to getting them all paid off. So this is my goal for the seven month pay off challenge.  

2. How do you plan to go about paying this debt off.

I have natural hair and have been getting it two strand twisted at a natural hair salon for the last year and a half. I think my stylist is great. She is the best stylist I have ever had. However, I go every three weeks and spend about $210 dollars a month. Therefore, I will have to forego this luxury. The next item I will be foregoing is my Blackberry. I was going to switch to the Iphone when it comes out in October but I realized I really need to forego the expense of a smart phone and go with something more affordable. This will afford me an additional $100 to pay down debt. My contract with Verizon ends in August. Also, I have an additional $100 that I also want to put towards debt. Therefore, starting in September 2012 I'll be able to put $400 towards debt in addition to the monthly payments I am making on each card. Soon I will give you the details of each card and their interest rates. 

So again, please feel free to join me on this debt payoff challenge. I will come here often to post about how I am doing and it will be great to watch that $30,000 plus shrink down to $0. Once that happens I can move on to the parent debt and the even more serious student loan debt. I am already making monthly payments to the IRS and will hopefully be done paying them within the next two or three years. Yes, this is my life for now but I am determined to change for the better.